Saturday, February 28, 2009

Gay Marriage

The following is a letter I just sent to a friend:

I just posted this video: to my FB profile with the following message.

"Is it right for the majority to oppress the minority? Not long ago it was the civil rights movement that was going to destroy America. Before that it was granting women the vote. As far as I can tell America is still standing and better than ever. These are REAL people, REAL families. Would people be so quick to take away their dreams if they had to face them in person?

I can no longer pretend that I don't feel strongly about this issue, because I do. I now live in Canada where people have the right to form families regardless of sexual orientation. It hasn't harmed my marriage in the slightest.

I'm aware of the arguments the other side espouses. Because I used to spout them off in an effort to convince myself that I agreed. But I didn't. And I don't. And I'm ashamed I ever pretended to. But I won't pretend anymore. And I won't sit silently by because I'm afraid to face those friends with which I disagree. I owe it to my gay friends and myself to be honest: I support gay marriage."

I was not as good a friend to you in high school as I should have been. The truth is that I was ashamed...not of you, of myself. I was embarrassed because I had made the decision to join a church that is very hetero sexist and homophobic. I tried so hard to rationalize it (along with a long list of other really messed up stuff in the Mormon church) but early this year couldn't do it anymore. My husband and I both left the church (for many, MANY reasons..though their hate/bigotry should have been reason enough). Now I'm trying to deal with the shame of having lent support to an organization that would seek to take away the rights of the minority. I should have listened to my conscience 8 years ago when it told me not to join the Mormon church. And I should have listened to it in November of last year when it told me Prop 8 wasn't right.

I feel lucky that I was uncomfortable enough to not have donated money to Yes on 8. But the fact is I payed tithing to the Mormon church for 8 years and THEY gave money to Yes on 8 (and lied about how much, to boot). And I regurgitated the very lame, very weak, very insidious arguments spewed by the Yes on 8 crowd to justify what the Yes on 8 Campaign and the Mormon church were doing. I did it partly because I was told I had to do what church leaders said if I wanted to be a good person and partly because I was trying to convince MYSELF of the crap we were peddling.

It didn't work.

My point is this: I will NEVER again support those who try to tell the world you don't have the right to be married to the one you love (and I hope you find the right guy someday :) - or maybe I should say the right "duck"). And I won't ever again silently stand by while bigots say and do that which is wrong. By being silent I give them more power and they already have far, FAR too much power as it is. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took me this long to make the right choice. I'm sorry I let fear and stupidity convince me to ignore my sense of right and wrong. And I'm sorry I didn't pursue friendship with you the way I would have if I hadn't been so damn ashamed of myself. I know now that I missed out. I hope you can forgive me for being a fool and a coward.
Here is the video:

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.